quitars never win!
it’s pronounced ‘gwee-tur’ or ‘guy-tur’. y’all.
a precursor to selfies
- spelling. who cares?
- make it easier to take a picture by propping the guitar against the wall or on the floor? nope.
- upload the picture sideways? of course!
- inadvertently take a belly selfie? sure, why not?!
i originally titled this “This guy should write for SNL” – because it’s not stupid, but stupid funny! The dude wrote an entertaining and amusing ad.
That’s probably gone now so read below, or read the screenshots of the actual ad (minus the long list of CDs and Vinyls):
VIRTUAL YARD SALE (Guitar Amp, cds, wisdom, many other items) – $1 (08053)
Date: 2010-05-21, 10:37PM EDT
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
WELCOME TO MY VIRTUAL YARD SALE!!!
Why waste time and gas and leave the comfort of your home to look at someone else’s crap when you can look at someone else’s crap in the comfort of your own home surfing the net in your underwear. Welcome! Thanks for looking.
Feel free to email with questions.
EVERYTHING BELOW IS FOR SALE
MUSIC: CHEAPER THAN I-TUNES…
CDs and Vinyl LPs (** please see long list of CDs and LPs at end of this list)
– CDs $5 ea obo – all genres (rock, alternative, blues, jazz, classical) There’s even a CD player below if ya need one of those. See the Special Offering with the CD player below. Oh! You’re hooked now! Now you want to read this whole ad to see what the Special Offer is! I know!! Marketing is devious!
– Vintage LPs $1ea (Mostly 60s folk, classical, musicals, Johnny Mathis, etc.)
Do you miss the music your parents or grandparents made you listen to? Now you can recreate those boring Sunday afternoons at grandma’s house… minus the moth-ball smell.
– 72RPM Vinyl Singles $1 ea. (1950s Sinatra, other people I’ve never heard of. )
Do you miss the music your great-parents made you listen to?… you get the idea
GUITAR AMP – QUANTUM TERMINATOR 25R 25 watt head with 4×10 cabinet – $50 (see pic attached)
– Did you miss your calling as a shredding Lead Guitarist with big hair in the 80s? Or a chunky playing grunge rhythm guitarist in the 90s? It’s not too late. Dust off that Korean made Fender-knock off Guitar that you stole from your older brother when he went away to college, squeeze into your spandex or pull that flannel shirt out of your “to donate” pile of rags and start hitting the TAB sites!… What’s that you say?? You don’t have an AMP to play your record-deal solos?! Well don’t let that stop your dreams! I have an amp from the same era that will do the trick for you. It’s a fine 25 watt head with a 4×10 cabinet. It’s no Marshall JCM, but for $50 it’s plenty of bang for the buck to bang your head. (come on baby, rock the dead). Plug in and let ‘er rip Emo.
[SOLD ] – 13ft diameter TRAMPOLINE.(Hedstrom brand ) – $75
Are you looking to get rid of your kids? This will do the trick… it’s OK, we’ve all had those feelings. Or if you just want to get rid of them for a few hours I’ll throw in the SAFETY NET ENCLOSURE for FREE. Beat that Costco and BJs! See more marketing. I did it again. (in very good condition – could use new spring pad cover, I will disassemble but you likely want to see it assembled before you buy)
[SOLD ] – Steelecase OFFICE CHAIR – 5 rolling feet. – comfortable, rugged cloth, fully adjustable. – $20 (see pic attached all the way at bottom)
Can you just not get enough of the feeling like you are at work? Why wait all weekend to swivel in that office chair again on Monday when you can do it at home … ANY TIME YOU WANT… go ahead. Get your office chair freak on. This chair can handle you. It’s the real deal. No cheap Staples chairs here, brother.
– Star Wars LIGHT SABER green w/ sound – $5
All you need to use the Force is two C Batteries.( included)
Slightly used to behead only a few dark Sith Lords… They were Jerks and had it coming. If you can’t use the Force, this is the next best thing. Although I don’t recommend doing that stupid exercise where you try to block shocking blasts from a floating practice droid while wearing a helmet with the blast shield down. Come on. It was a MOVIE. It’s fiction! It doesn’t work and those training droid blasts hurt.
– SLIDE PROJECTOR (Stack loading type, not the carousel type) – $5
Who has time for all that newfangled digital technology? Slides is where it’s at. Why look at your pics on a little 2″ LCD… Sure you save time and money on processing, and hording slide film before it all goes the way of the wooly mammoth… but who doesn’t want to be able to look at that cute slide pic of you when you were 3 yrs old blown up and projected on the wall so your nostrils are as big as basketballs. Can your new fancy digital camera do that?? Didn’t think so.
– CD PLAYER – stereo console type.- $5 *** Buy 10 CDs and I’ll give you the CD player for free if you need it. I know, I know, it’s crazy. But I’ll do it! You can’t stop me!***
Ok kids, here’s a history less for you… in a time long ago.. before pirating other people’s property on the internet was consider “acceptable because I can get away with it”… music was actually sold (I know it sounds crazy)… SOLD on little plastic discs called CDs. These were great because you could listen to music, use them as Frisbee, or a drink coaster in a pinch, and do amazing things in microwave ovens with them. Well, as cool as CDs were, you needed to play them on something. This CD player can do that. Science, kids. Stay in school.
– CAR SPEAKERS – Precision Audio Thump Series – 2 way 6.25” Round 140 watts – $10
Back when I thought it would be cool to play really loud music in my awesome car, I picked up these fine speakers to hook myself up with some tuneage. … My awesome car was an ’82 Honda Accord hatchback and it was very old. Alas, i had to put it to pasture before I got a chance to put these speakers in it. It would have been glorious, but too all things there is a season… and this Honda’s season was over long ago. But the dream can stay alive if only you will purchase these speakers and put them in your awesome car. My Honda would have wanted it that way.
Cookie Jar – $2 (see pic attached all the way at bottom)
Who doesn’t love cookies! And who doesn’t love cookies in a cookie jar!! Obviously my wife, cause this cookie jar has been sitting on top of our kitchen cabinet for 10 years not holding cookies. I feel sorry for it. Being all unfilled as a cookie jar for all that time. Just look at the guy on the cookie jar ? so sad. This cookie jar needs a good home ? has all shots, great with kids, prefers to be the only cookie jar in the house, but is ok with Tupperware or other food storage containers. All it needs is YOU and some COOKIES and some little kids to smear chocolate chips on their faces and your walls with their grubby little hands.
– Child’s Sesame Street SUITCASE- (see pic) roller carry-on type – $5 (see pic attached all the way at bottom)
This is a suitcase for children… not a suitcase to put children in. I don’t have any of those, sicko. And most children don’t where suits so not sure why they would need a suitcase. But if your child has a plethora of suits… or socks or teddy bears that they need to travel with on their mysterious child travel missions. This will do the trick. The friendly pictures of all those cute Sesame Street characters will lull the Customs Agents into a false sense a security so they’ll never suspect the suitcase if full of duty-free Pedialite.
– 2x ELVIS WIGS – $1 for both
… I really have no explanation for why I have two Elvis wigs… let alone even having one. .. . But I do have them.. And now, so can you. You can can raise the number of Elvis Impersonators in the country by at least one, maybe two if you own these fine Chinese made cheaply made Elvis wigs. Elvis Impersonators have been on the endangered species list for far to long! They are a National treasure and must be save! Do your part, won’t you? Do it for the kids. It’s the American thing to do. There is a sequined jump suit in a thrift store somewhere with your name on it… just waiting for you. Be prepared with wig in hand ! .. so when you do find that jump suit and finally, after all these years, find your true calling and meaning for your life, you will have the wig you were meant to wear. It will be a glorious moment. I wish I could be there to see it.
– 2x Vinyl SEAT CUSHIONS with Atlantic City Surf logo – $2 for both.
Nothing says GO TEAM GO like sitting your arse on the team logo.
– Water drainage PUMP FOR FURNACE 1amp, 115v $5
This works.. it’s a little noisy which is why I bought a new one because my furnace is in the laundry room next to the TV room. I know you don’t care, but it was annoying hearing the pump kick in every 20 minutes or so. Now I want to sell it to you for cheap. So if you really like the sound of a water pump running or if your furnace is in a basement or you keep something locked in your basement and want to annoy it with the sound of a water pump. This is the pump for YOU!
– Rubik’s CUBE – $2
If your doctor has told you that you don’t have enough frustration and stress in your life, you can either get married which costs like $20,000 these days, or you can buy this $2 Rubin’s cube. Do the math. It’s your choice.
GOLF EQUIPMENT: (Used but in good shape)
General note on GOLF:
Golf was invented by the Scottish people. I know, I’m part Scottish (and it is “Scottish” not “Scotch”. Scotch is a drink that I like to have on weekends.. and weekdays…the people are Scottish or Scots. These are pearls people. Pearls of wisdom…and I’m just giving them away.) GOLF is a Scottish word loosely translated as “frustration in the great outdoors wearing a kilt”. Rubik was Scottish too, but golf was already invented so he had to take it inside and invent that cube I was talking about. Thankfully, the game has modernized so kilts have been replaced with equally appalling plaid patterned pants. So… if you already have a Rubik’s cube or want to up your frustration game a few notches, I highly recommend golf. If you’re keeping score, the hierarchy of frustration and stress in descending order is… Marriage, Golf, Rubik’s cube. Golf is frustrating and stressful but not as much as staying home on a Saturday…. and people would look at you funny if you stood out in a field playing Rubik’s cube for 4 hours… but chase a small white ball for 4 hours.. it’s all good. You’ve always wondered why so many golfers are old married guys… I hope I’ve cleared that up for you. (Pearls, I say!!)
– “Masters” brand full size golf bag – black $15
– Golf bag cooler – Black w/ blue trim $5
FULL SET – Northwestern Custom 100 low torque graphite shaft – Titanium Alloy Driver, 3, 5 wood, 3-9 iron + P wedge – $30 obo
IRONS – Slazenger Aldila – RD Senior Flex graphite shaft 3-9 iron + P wedge $20 obo
Metal Woods (heh. That an ironic name… ?metal? ?woods?…nm) $5 per club
– 3 wood, 5 wood – Dunlop Matrix – graphite shaft
– Driver MacGregor – MacOne Rail system – graphite shaft – 10.5 deg
– Driver Titanic – titanium shaft – 8 deg
– Driver Wilson John Daly wide body – graphite shaft 10.5 deg
PUTTERS, PUTTERS, PUTTERS…
Top Flite HT 1 – polymer face (two of these)
Dunlop PL milled face
Northwestern JC Snead 406
Ray Cook Classic Plus I
Allied – “Green Killer”
2 Wilson putters that are the old school style that you’d see at a mini golf course.
CAUTION: Geekzone ahead…
cat 5 cable – 50 to 75 foot spool – $5
2x 48 port RJ45 patch panels $20 ea. or $35 for both
2 sets – computer desktop speakers – $5
? leaving Geekzone.
Are you still reading?! If you are, you’ve hit the Musical Motherload. There are some real gems in here if you take the time to look for ’em. I have an eclectic musical taste so there’s something for just about everyone.
If you have any questions let me know.
(LP Vinyl LIST IS FURTHER DOWN)
CDs CDs CDs….
condition of 99% is Excellent.
One are two are missing cases, I’ve tried to note where a case is missing. CDs are still in good shape but if missing a case, i’ll give you a clear case and knock a buck or two off the price.
Alphabetical by artist – title
“10,000 maniacs – in my tribe”,
“103.7fm (Seattle) on the mountain sampler vol 4”,
“Al Di Meola – elegant gypsy”,
“Alan Parsons project – ammonia avenue”,
“alan parsons project – eve”,
“alice in chains – dir”,
“babes in toyland ? fontanelle”,
“bad company – bad company”,
“bb king – spotlight on lucille”,
“beastie boys – paul’s boutique”,
“beethoven – symphony no. 6 pastoral”,”classical”
“bettie serveert – lamprey”,
“billy joel – kohuept”,
“bruce cockburn – the charity of night”,
“c&c music factory – gonna make you sweat”,
“carl orff – carmina burana”,
“chuck mangione – chase the clouds away”,
“crave – faithfully sane”,
“creed – human clay”,
“dave mathews band – crash”,
“dave mathews band – the central park concert – disk 2″,”missing case”
“debbie harry – blondie – once more into the bleach”,
“dido – no angel”,
“dire straits – money for nothing”,
“discovery sampler – alternative vol 1”,
“Dr. Martens Music Sample”,
“duke ellington – blues in orbit”,
“echolyn – as the world”,”signed”
“edie brickell – picture perfect morning”,
“enigma – le roi est mort, vive le roi”,
“enya – enya”,
“enya – shepherds moons”,
“Eric Clapton – unplugged”,
“Eric Clapton – timepieces”,
“Eric Johnson – ah via musicom”,
“ferrington guitars – sampler 20 tracks”,”no case”
“foo fighters – the colour and the shape”,
“front 242 – front by front”,
“funk classics of the 70s”,
“george frideric handel – water music”,”classical”
“george thorogood – born to be bad”,
“grey eye glances – eventide (signed)”,”signed”
“guitar player presents – electric blues, vol2”,
“guitar player presents – jazz, vol2”,
“guns n’ roses – appetite for destruction”,
“helmet – betty”,
“helmet – meantime”,
“hootie and the blowfish – cracked rear view”,
“husker du – zen arcade”,
“jazz sampler – volume 3”,
“jeff back – guitar shop”,
“jennifer lopez – j to tha -L-O! the remixes (missing case)”,”missing case”
“jesus jones – doubt”,
“jimi james and esp – paint a picture”,
“jj cale & eric lapton – the road to escondido”,
“joe cocker – best of”,
“joe satriani – flying in a blue dream”,
“joe satriani – surfing with the alien”,
“john coltrane – my favorite things”,
“john lee hooker – best of 1965 – 1974”,
“john mclaughlin – electric guitarist”,
“john mclaughlin – the hear of things”,
“john mclaughlin, al di meola, paco de lucia – passion, grace & fire”,
“john scofield – slo cso: best of the ballads”,
“js bach – brandenbug concertos”,”classical”
“kazuhito yamashita – guitar concertos”,”classical”
“king’s x – faith hope love”,
“L7 – hungry for stink”,
“led zepplin – IV”,
“live – throwing copper”,
“lush – lovelife”,
“lush – spooky”,
“mahavishnu orchestra – birds of fire”,
“mahavishnu orchestra – inner mounting flame”,
“megadeth – killing is my business and business is good”,
“metallica – and justice for all”,
“metallica – black album”,
“metallica – load”,
“metallica – master of puppets”,
“metallica – ride the lightning”,
“miles davis – plays classic ballads”,
“miles davis – the ballad artistry of miles davis”,
“mozart – best of”,”classical”
“mozart symphony 35, 40, 41″,”classical”
“natlie cole – unforgettable with love”,
“neil young – freedom”,
“New Order – International”,
“Nirvana – in Utero”,
“Nirvana – Nevermind”,
“now music summer 99 – sampler”,
“paul simon – graceland”,
“paul simon – greatest hits”,
“paula cole – I don?t’ want to wait (single)”,
“pearl jam – ten”,
“pearl jam – vitality”,
“pete townshend – another scoop (2cd)”,
“pete townshend – the iron man”,
“peter gabriel – passion”,
“pink floyd – a momentary lapse of reason”,
“pink floyd – dark side of the moon”,
“pink floyd – Echoes, best of pink floyd”,
“pixies – doolittle”,
“prodigy – the fat of the land”,
“queen – the miracle”,
“queensryche – operation: mindcrime”,
“Ramones – Loco Live”,
“ramones – mania”,
“Ramones – Mondo Bizzaro”,
“red hot chili peppers – blood sugar sex magik”,
“red hot chili peppers – mother’s milk”,
“rick astley – whenever you need sombody”,
“ride – going blank again”,
“rod stewart – the great american songbook (missing case)”,
“roger waters – radio KAOS”,
“royal philharmoinc orchestra – the queen collection”,”classical”
“sarah mclachlan – fumbling towards ecstasy”,
“sarah mclachlan – solace”,
“sarah mclachlan – touch”,
“scorpions – crazy world”,
“scorpions – love at first sting”,
“scott pualsen & Jim Krenn – drink me!”,
“Seal – Seal”,
“sinead o’connor – so far the best of”,
“social distortion – somewhere between heaven and hell”,
“soundgarden – badmotorfinger”,
“soundgarden – louder than love”,
“soundgarden – superunknown”,
“spin doctors – can’t kick the habit (single)”,
“spin doctors – nice talking to me (single)”,
“spin doctors – pocket full of kryptonite”,
“Spring Rains (2cd)”,
“steve jones – fire and gasoline”,
“steve vai – passion and warfare”,
“stevie ray vaughan and double trouble – the sky is crying”,
“suzanne vega – solitude standing”,
“talking heads – stop making sense”,
“talking heads – true stories”,
“tchaikovsky – 1812 overature – Romeo and Juliet”,”classical”
“tchaikovsky’s greatest hits, vol 1″,”classical”
“ted nugent – if you can’t lick ’em.. Lick ’em”,
“the breeders – last splash”,
“the clarks – the clarks”,
“the commitments – sountrack”,
“the cranberries – everybody else is doing it why can’t we?”,
“the cranberries – no need to argue”,
“the funky sounds of the soul 70’s”,
“the mighty lemon drops – happy head”,
“the real Louisiana – zydeco sampler”,
“the rolling stones – sticky fingers”,
“the who – live at leeds”,
“the who – who’s next”,
“the who – wire & glass”,
“Tori Amos – Little Earthquakes”,
“triplefastaction – broadcaster”,
“u2 – rattle and hub”,
“utah saints – something good”,
“vivaldi – four seasons”,”classical”
“yes – big generator”,
“yes – classic yes”,
“yngwie malmsteen – rising force”,
LPs LPs LPs (Vinyl)
Alphabetical by artist – title
“50 guitars of tommy garrett – maria elena”
“50 guitars of tommy garrett – south of the border 2”
“50 guitars of tommy garrett go italiano”
“50 guitarsof tommy garrett- go south of the border”
“abba – abba (1977)”
“Alpiine Festival – songs from swiss austrian and german alps”
“andy williams – moon river and other great movie themes”
“bach – his life and his music”
“back – organ masterpeices”
“barbara steisand – color me barbara”
“barbara streisand – people”
“barbara streisand – wet”
“billy vaughn orchestra – music for the golden hours”
“blue jeans philharmonic orchestra ”
“blue oyster cult – tryanny and mutation (1973)”
“boston pops – light classics”
“brailowsky – chopin polonaises”
“bruno wlater – dvorak”
“chad mitchell trio – the best of”
“chicago – chicago (1977)”
“claude debussy – hit parade – la mer, claride lune, arabesque no.2”
“conniff meets butterfield”
“dave brubek quartet – bernstein plays brubeck plays bernstein”
“david carroll orchestra – percussion orientale”
“debusy – La Mer”
“disney records – 21 short songs for little people”
“disney records – happy birthday and songs for every holiday (1964)”
“doctor shivago – orginal movie sountrack”
“don williams – I believe in you (1980)”
“dreamin (1979) (2LP)”
“elton john – goodbye yellow brick road (1973)”
“enrico caruso – centennial (1973) ”
“ernie ford – sing a hymn with me (with book & sheet music)”
“felix slatkin – fantastic strings”
“ferrante & teicher – springtime”
“ferrante & teicher – theme from the apartment”
“festival in casa (italian) (1963)”
“franco corelli – the artistry of”
“frank chacksfield orchestra – ebb tide ”
“frank devol orchestra – irving berlin songs (2LP)”
“frank sinatra – greatest hits ”
“free hot lunch – wa ha music”
“gershwin – an american in paris”
“gershwin – rhapsody in blue”
“Grease – original soundtrack (1978) (2LP)”
“hammerstein – show boat – soundtrack with John Raitt”
“harmonicats – cherry pink”
“harmonicats – selected favorites”
“henri rene – compulsion to swing (1959)”
“henry mancini – best of (1964)”
“herb alpert & the tijuana brass – SRO”
“Hofbrau – german oktoberfest folk music”
“how the west was won – original movie soundtrack ”
“isaac stern – none but the lonely heart (1963)”
“jack jones – lady”
“jack jones – this love of mine”
“jack jones – where love has gone”
“jackie gleason – velvet brass”
“janet jackson – control (1986)”
“janis ian – aftertones (1975)”
“janis ian – between the lines (1975)”
“jese davido – Bullfight (recorded in spain)”
“jesus christ superstar (1979) (2LP)”
“johhny mathis – johnny’s greatest hits”
“john gary – all time favorite songs (1965)”
“johnny mann singers – invisible tears”
“johnny mathis – heavenly”
“johnny mathis – i’ll buy you a star”
“johnny mathis – johnny ‘s mood”
“johnny mathis – live it up”
“johnny mathis – more greatest hits”
“johnny mathis – open fire, two guitars”
“johnny mathis – portrait of johnny”
“johnny mathis – rapture”
“johnny mathis – swing again”
“johnny mathis – swing softly”
“johnny mathis – tender is the night”
“johnny mathis – the rhythms and ballads or braodway”
“johnny mathis – wonderful, wonderful”
“journey – departure (1980)”
“journey – journey (1978)”
“judy collins – who knows where the time goes”
“kansas – monolith (1979)”
“karl zeller – – der vogelhandler /franz lehar -schon ist die welt”
“kenny rogers – greatest hits (1980)”
“kirby stone four – the “”Go”” sound”
“leonard bernstein w/ andre watts – liszt: les preludes”
“leonard bernstein- scheherazade”
“lerner & loewe – camelot – richard burton julie andrews – original broadway cast”
“lerner & loewe – My Fair Lady – rex harrison julie andrews (1959)”
“les brown orchestrs – lerner and loewe handbook”
“london festival orchestra – tchaikovsky 1812 overture, op 49”
“longines symphonette – memory songs and melodies (2LP)”
“los admiradores – bongos bongos bongos (1959)”
“mahavishnu orchestra – visions of the emerald beyond (1975)”
“mantovani – music of irving berline and rudolf friml”
“mantovani orchestra – carnival and other broadway hits”
“marian anderson – he’s got he whole world in his hands”
“martin denny – a taste of honey”
“michel legrand orchestra – cole porter songs”
“mike and pam martin – fernwood pacific”
“miles davis – a kind of blue (1959)”
“mormon tabernacle choir – the lord’s prayer”
“morton gould – moonlight sonata (1961)”
“mr. fred rodgers – you are special ”
“music man – original soundtrack -robert preston shirley jones (1962)”
“nach hause geh’n wir nicht”
“nat king cole – I don’t want to be hurt anymore”
“nat king cole – ramblin’ rose”
“neil diamond – you don’t bring me flowers (1978)”
“neil sedaka – sings his greatest hits”
“New York Philharmonic Philippe Etremont , piano – Rachmaninoff Concerto No2”
“nico fidenco – per noi due”
“oktoberfest – recorded live in germany ”
“pagliacci – feat. Del monaco (boxed w/ book)”
“percy faith orchestra – the george gershwin album”
“perry como – sings just for you (1958)”
“pete carr – not a word on it (1976)”
“peter and the wolf/ treasure island”
“peter gabriel – claws (1978)”
“peter nero – hail the conquireing nero”
“peter nero – in person (1963)”
“philadelphia orchestra – grlorious sound of christmas”
“Philadelphia orchestra – grofe: grand canyon suite”
“philadelphia orchestra – serenade for strings”
“philadelphia orchestra – Tchaikovsky – swan lake (with book)”
“porgy and bess – original sound track”
“puccini – la boheme – feat. Renata tebaldi (boxed w/ book)”
“puccini – madama butterfly – feat. Renata tebaldi (boxed w/ book)”
“ravi shanka – at the woodstock festival (1969)”
“Ray Charles Singers – something wonderful (1961)”
“ray conniff – ‘s wonderful!”
“ray conniff orchestra – broadway in rhythm”
“ray conniff orchestra – concert in rhythm vol2”
“ray conniff orchestra – memories are made of this”
“ray conniff singers – so much in love”
“robert shaw orchestra – the immortal victor herbert”
“rodgers & hammerstein – flower drum song soundtrack”
“roger wagner chorale – best of”
“roger wagner chorale – great choral music of christmas (2LP)”
“roger williams – christmastime”
“roger williams – near you”
“roger williams – temptation”
“roger williams at town hall (2LP)”
“rogers & hammerstein – south pacific original broadway cast”
“rogers & hammerstein delux set – BOXED – oklahoma!/carousel/the king and I”
“sandor lakatos – amous hungarian folk songs”
“si zenter orchestra – desafinado”
“simon and garfunkle – greatest hits”
“smokey robinson and the miracles – best of (1979) 2LP”
“sondheim – Gypsy – with ehthel merman”
“songs from the wizard of oz/ pimocchio”
“stan getz/charlie byrd – jazz samba”
“steve lawrence – everybody knows ”
“steve lawrence – winners! (1963)”
“styx – cornerstone”
“sue and jeff 3”
“tarrango orchestra – latin brass ”
“the 5th dimension – live (2LP)”
“the 5th dimension – reflections”
“the 5th dimension -love’s lines, angels and rhymes”
“the barbara streisand album (1963)”
“the brothers four – BMOC”
“the brothers four – in person”
“the brothers four – more big folk hits”
“the brothers four – rally ’round”
“the brothers four – roamin'”
“the fabulous dorseys”
“the guitar greats – glenn campbell, mason williams, etc”
“the kingston trio – best of”
“the kingston trio – from the hungry i”
“the sesame street book & record (1970)”
“the singing nun – soeur soureire”
“the smothers brothers – it must have been something I said”
“The Sound of music – broadway cast soundtrack – Mary Martin”
“the young americans – presented by johnny mathis”
“tito puente – dance mania”
“tony bennett – alone together”
“tony bennett – I left my heart in san francisco”
“tyrone power – Eddy Duchin Story”
“uncle bonsai – a lonely grane of corn”
“vic damone – angela mia”
“village people – crusin’ (1978)”
“vladimir horowitz – chopin, schumann, rachmaninoff, liszt”
“werner muller on broadway”
“West side story – original sound track”
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
never underestimate the power of spin doctors.
spell check never had a chance. total annihilation.
c’mon, how can you NOT make fun of this?
I have been buying and selling items on Craigslist for some time now, and for the most part its been very beneficial. It provides a straight route for selling items locally and fast, and it can be a boon to bargain hunters, waiting for those item(s) that someone just wants to get fast cash for, without the hassle of going to an auction site or waiting for it to appear in the local newspaper (which no one reads anymore). Best of all, its FREE.
But ever so often you do come across some of the dumbest ads ever. Some have seriously misspelled simple words repeated throughout the ad, some whose grammar seems to have been written by a dead stump (even a 2 year old can sound more coherent). Some have the amazing audacity of posting what they believe is the over-inflated sense of value for an easily searchable price and common enough item to be found in stores for cheap, brand new. Its a free market, and people can command whatever price they deem fit for whatever item they post. But as it IS a free market, we also have the freedom to do this: have fun with it.
Our stupid ads section is dedicated to framing those works of (f)art. We aim to put in a capsule the ads that we believe are timeless in their stupidity, whose only worth to the reader is the mirth and amusement it brings.
We do respect the privacy of everyone, idiots included. You will see numbers and names and addresses and emails blurred or omitted or changed to protect the identity of the guilty.
Wanna contribute? send us a link to the stupid ads! go to the Contacts Page. NO SCREENSHOTS PLEASE, we’ll do that for you. the link is fine and all we need. We also have to verify it ourselves.
We reserve the right to remove and/or alter ANY image posted in compliance to our house rules, hosted by us or other sites. Though we will try our best, no explanations are required.
question: wouldn’t it be easier to just copy and paste the link to the actual post?
answer: yes, but CL posts get deleted after 30days, by the author, or by flagging. We want to capture that stupidity forever, so screen capture or save as complete page is the best way.
question: you cant make fun of people just cuz they cant spell right. Some aren’t as educated as they should be. It cant be helped. You make typos and spell words wrong too. What you’re doing is condescending and hypocritical and mean!
1)that wasn’t a question.
2) It’s a FREE Country. just like people are free to write those ads the way they are, we CAN say and write what we want, the way we want to. Insensitive? no. Everybody who can speak the language correctly should be able to write it correctly. Elementary and high school here is free, and there are other ways to learn how to read and write, and how to do it correctly. Even basic rudimentary reading and writing is needed to be able to apply for a job. If you didn’t pay attention in class, if you wasted away with drugs and alcohol and whip- it sure is paying dividends now. But its not too late – get help, go back to school, learn some writing skills, or learn to spell better even just the simple words like ‘guitar’, go to the internet and google it, everyone has cellphones now. Even books are free now. Heck, even websites and forms have spell check (like we do here) to prevent typos. I cant imagine how people ignore that. And don’t give me this learning disability crap. I know people who have “learning disabilities” that struggled but were successful and went on to finish college. They stopped using it as a crutch. Something simple like a for-sale ad shouldn’t be that hard to write.
And not just the worst spellers, it’s the salesmanship. However much they spin it, the picture always tells the truth, which in some cases is truly other than what the written description says. A total BOLD-FACE LIE. Almost like a scam, if you ask me.
We admit, you will find typos in this site also. We may not even correct it. But they’re not funny like these ads.
So if you’re going to sell anything, just take pictures, price it, use spell check when you give a little description, then post it. Simple.
OK! Now on with the stupidity!
Hello, internet ghost world! how have you been?
not much going on here, except a full-steam-ahead decision to get serious/ get more focused with guitar tube amps. Repairs, mods, building, playing, selling, buying – you name it, i want to do it! I have collected a bunch of vintage amps from the unlikeliest places, and im currently studying/refurbishing them to get educated with an arcane and VERY OLD technology.
why? I LOVE music, most especially rock n’ roll. Tube amps powered the birth of rock in the 50s and its global musical domination from the 60’s on. Silicon chips and transistor/solid-state came in around the late 60’s, ushering in a different era of technology. Smaller, faster, sleeker, cooler/less heat, easier to power amps, less bulk in a more powerful small package.
But solid-state has not quite gotten that “mojo tone” that tube amps produce – after 4 decades of solid-state guitar amplification, recording and performing artists have come to find out where they can get “that tone”, and have always come back to tube amps each time. Or they start out with transistor amps, and eventually move on to tubes, as that realization hits home of what a true guitar tone should sound like.
At any rate, tubes (or valves) have now become near-obsolete technology, existing primarily only in hi-fi equipments (for music playback), and musical instrument amplification. It simply is NOT taught in schools anymore. Possibly the underlying concepts, and the most basic electrical principles and fundamentals are still taught, but that is the extent of it. Most classes branch out immediately to solid-state technology, and to what is used and what is prevalent in the world today.
But books still abound that teach tube technology. And unlike transistors that continue to evolve and continue to change, tube technology has contained itself in a bubble, and not much can be changed or added to it at this point. Tube technology has peaked close to 50 years ago, and not much if any has changed since. Though not perfected, its application to music has. The technology learning is in most cases already finite and set, and that allows ANYONE to come in and learn from start, knowing there IS a finish. No new developments, no new concepts – all the groundwork has already been laid down half a century ago. All we need to do now is to follow the path.
Granted, one has to at least know the basic electrical concepts to move into the realm of valves/tubes, and more importantly also know what true tone SHOULD sound like. I am admittedly still learning, and i WILL BE learning the rest of my life, but what i have learned so far has been my stepping stone towards tube technology. This has facilitated an easier shift (after coming from the hi-tech world of fast computers), thought it still poses a mountain of knowledge i need to climb. Fortunately it is something i gladly will undertake. It also helps to like (and even better, LOVE) what you’re doing. Everything becomes simpler at that point.
The goal: to understand how tube amps work, so repairs and even building one can be done. Later on will be a line of custom-made tube amp heads and combos, crafted in the traditional way – point-to-point wiring. Ultimately to produce that guitar tone that oozes mojo. 🙂
October 16, 2009, 08:51:33 PM
right now in my limited library, i have:
radiotron designer’s handbook by F Langford-smith (4th ed.)
valve amplifiers by morgan jones (3rd ed)
audio cyclopedia by howard tremaine (2nd ed)
inside tube amps by dan torres
new book of standard wiring by les schatten
The Ultimate Tone, volumes 1 and 3 by Kevin O’Connor
Tube amp workbook by Dave Funk
The Vox Story by petersen and denney
the history of marshall by michael doyle
the tube amp book by aspen pittman (this was signed!)
rca receiving tube manual
kepco power supply handbook
the gerald weber book/DVD ive only heard about. Mixed reviews – some say it recommends changes straight to the point, but doesnt tell you why (like adding or changing a resistor value, but with no explanation behind it). but there are those that say that, hey, they work and sound good!
December 14, 2010, 01:22:29 AM
Here’s another case why older technology is superior to what we have today: the method of using point-to-point wiring.
Having worked on or inspected PCB-based wiring on the Blues Custom 30, the Epiphone Valve Jr, the Peavey Windsor head, and the Fender Prosonic, contrasting them with what ive seen and handled on a 1974 Bassman 10, 1970 Plush Congress IV and P1000-s, and the ’65-67 Kalamazoo amps, ive come to appreciate the wonderful “easiness” of reading the mess of wires as opposed to the simple straghtforward pathways of the PCB.
Changing components is easy too. simply clip, replace, and solder. On a PCB its not as simple, even if its staring you in the face. The copper path the tiny component is soldered on to is so thin you run the risk of destroying it if youre not very VERY careful. Thats why its sits under a film of silicon or epoxy so it wont get damaged by errant sharp things in any case it scrapes across the board.
theres also the case of double-board PCBs. I found i have to get to TWO boards in the Blues Custom 30, before i can even get to the pots. You have to unscrew several places, then slowly and carefully lift the first board out of the way, secure it, and then get to another set of screws to get at the second PCB.
Another reason: built in obsolescence in PCBs. Tubes run hot, and so do most other components in it. PCBs are made thinner and thinner these days for cost cutting reasons, and it makes for a nice warping board due to heat, and of course a toasty little wafer to start smoking and smoldering, and before you know it, catastrophic failure throughout the amp. Old amps are STILL running today, after 40 to 50 years, with only a few components changed. Amps then were not that cheap, but they were justifiably made to last. They were made when materials were fresh, standards were higher, and quality workmanship counted. This was before the era of the greedy shareholders and corporate profit-mongers who insist on unrealistic yearly improvement on profit, either by more sales on an already saturated market, or the diminishing of its cost and budget, or worse, both.
Its not only that production have been shipped overseas for lower costs of labor. Sure, its made amps and other gear easier to produce at cheaper prices, making it easier for the masses to become their own garage, basement, or bedroom superstars. Maybe the quality control HAS improved over the past several years. But it all comes down to the materials used. Why do those amps still fail easily? Why dont they sound the same if theyre still the same circuit?
Its the materials used that make up those components. Alternative materials are used instead of what was used 50 years ago. It could be of environmental and health concerns, it could be that materials used then are more expensive to produce now, so alternate materials and methods are used instead. You have thinner grade of metal made. In china whee most of manufacturing and assembly are done, this is regulated since anything thicker or as thick as how they made speakers or amplifier chassis 50 years ago is banned – the same materials can be used to make armaments which the government frowns upon. This also makes for a more profitable angle – thinner metal means less metal used, means you can stretch the quantity of components even further, enabling you to make more items. But how thin can you get it before affects tone? Unfortunately this has already been answered in today’s cheaply-made gear.
Realistically though, that golden age is gone, and this IS today. We will continue to have new cheaply made, easy to break, easy to replace gear which sound “adequate”, and “just ok”, if we lower our expectations just a bit each time. Not to say theyre all bad, some do provide amazing sounds (the windsor and Prosonic are a keeper).
But i suggest to go ahead and purchase one anyway, use it once to fully understand its complete and utter rubbishness and underwhelming under-achieving “make-do” attitude under the hood- its cheap, go buy it, it wont hurt at all (until it starts breaking down). If you prefer to “settle” and underachieve, and just “make do”, there is nothing wrong with it. Its a choice, an alternative.
But consider the OTHER alternative – the one you get when you dont compromise, and not only ask, but DEMAND excellence and better, higher quality. Go find a dusty, rusty, musty-smelling little 50-yr old no-master volume amp, so you can then appreciate what treasures they are to this day. Those time machines that stood, and are STILL standing, the test of time and are the hallmarks, benchmarks, and cornerstones of tone.
The way i see it, older/vintage gear have been waiting over 50 years (a half century! and counting) for me – FOR YOU! – to play them. theyre waiting…